Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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