Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
