I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
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They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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