some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
