Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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