Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
