i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
