my phone cant type all the emotion im having
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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