so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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