I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
