In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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