I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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