How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
