Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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