i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize