you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize