halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
