Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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