he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
