I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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