So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
