the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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