Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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