Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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