My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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