He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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