Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
