how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
