even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
