I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
