How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
