my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
