I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
