So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
