That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
