can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
