I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
