I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize