You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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