wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
