Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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