woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
