so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
