Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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