i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
