hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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