I seem to have left my pride at pride
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
