I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
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Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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