All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this boner is exhausting
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
