Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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