Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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