Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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