This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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