I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
