so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize