): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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