just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize