Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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